Monster A Songfic
by The heart stopped beating
Summary: Sean never ment to hurt Emma, he just wanted Peter out of the way. But now that he's facing twenty-five to life for murder, can she ever forgive him? And can Sean survive inside the brutal world of prison?


Sean-centric. It's rated T, but it's close to M, and may in fact go to an M rating at some point.

I do not own Degrassi

I do not own the song "Monster"

_**His little whispers.  
Love Me. Love Me.  
That's all I ask for.  
Love Me. Love Me.  
He battered his tiny fists to feel something.  
Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.**_

Sean didn't mean to. All he could hear in his head were Emma's words.

"I already have a boyfriend"

They were pounding in his ears.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

Pumping with his blood.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

Filling his body.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

His soul.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

Every inch, inside and out.

"What the fuck?" Jay screamed behind him. Sean didn't even see the body in front of him. Peter lay in the school parking lot, throat slashed from one end to the other. It wasn't like he hated Peter; he never really had anything against the guy until… until he saw Emma locking lips with him. His Emma. Sean's Emma. The Emma that he'd almost taken a bullet for a few years back for, the one he'd stepped in front of a loaded gun for. The one he'd left. But in his mind, she was his again, now that Peter was gone.

"What's wrong with you?" Jay grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around, Panic and desperation in his eyes. Sean smiled numbly, highly, drunkenly. He laughed a little bit, a nervous laugh as he came to his senses.

"He's dead." Sean laughed "He's dead!"

"What the fuck man!"

"He's dead! Peter's dead."

"Yah, he's dead." Jay's voice cracked, his mouth hanging open in disbelief "Yah, you… you…"

"I killed him!" his eyes glowed, like the eyes of a young boy learning to ride his first two-wheeler.

Jay shoved him to the ground and ran.

"You didn't run away when I killed Rick!" He called after him playfully. And then all at once, he sobered up. He got n his hands and knees and crawled toward the body. It was starting to go cold. Peter's mouth was frozen open, his eyes bugged out, his hands drenched in blood, drawn up toward his bleeding throat. He didn't look real, he looked like he were a stage prop.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

Now she didn't. He'd taken her boyfriend from her. He'd hurt the one person he loved.

"Emma." He said into the wind, eyes cast toward the streetlight. He had to get out, he had to run. Would Jay rat him out? No, Jay would never talk to the cops. But they'd find out when Sean didn't come home. They'd put the pieces together.

"_I already have a boyfriend"_

He had to get to Emma, he had to talk to her, he had to tell her just how sorry he was. Sirens screamed through the otherwise quiet night. The ungodly screech ran through Sean's ears like a metal rod. He ran into the blackness at breakneck speed, leaving his and Peter's cars in the parking lot. He could feel the blood on his jeans, and his hand was still gripping the knife with enough force that he heard a bone crack. His vision blurred, all he could see was the tiny light in the Simpson house. The sirens drew closer, cutting through the air. A cop car was right on him as he ran into the Simpson lawn, banging on the door.

Emma opened it, obviously she'd been asleep. The two of them locked eyes for a solid second. He dropped the knife at his feet, tears rolling down his cheeks. The cop came up behind him and forced his hands behind his back, jerking him back suddenly. Emma's mouth opened. She wanted to say something as she looked at the knife, at the sick desperation in his eyes. He knew he'd done something unforgivable.

"I love you." His voice was almost inaudible, but sincere. He said those words the way somebody would say "sorry."

The cop dragged him backward down the steps, then spun him toward the car.

"Sean Cameron, you're under arrest for the murder of Peter Stone!"

He heard Emma scream behind him, her broken voice sticking in his brain.

"You Fucking Monster!"

The red and blue lights covered his vision and cast the world around him in a flashing torrent of fire and ice.

"I'm sorry." He said to her, to himself, to Peter.

"You Monster!"

They loaded him into the car. He turned his head to Emma. Through the glass he watched her fly into hysterics. Not even the inch thick window of the cop car could drown out the sound of her hate.

"I hope they KILL you in there!"

He closed his eyes.

"I love you Emma" he whispered.


End file.
